I sat down to write this New Moon forecast and realized that I start them all the same, I took a peek at other newsletters I receive and saw it was a common theme for others as well. It feels suddenly stifling to me, like there is this block to a creative flow with the practice through those few words ‘This moon in…’ Recently I found myself opening up The Artists’ Way, a workbook for building a connection to creative flow. I have frequently and for quite some time utilized ‘the morning pages’ as a standard format for my journaling, a stream of consciousness practice, but never did the actual twelve weeks of tools and prompts Julia Cameron shares within it’s pages.
To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong. -Joseph Chilton Pearce
The most recent Full Moon in Aquarius felt like it shot through me, getting to the core of where I’d been creating my own walls that seemed so impossible to navigate. Maybe just a latent idea of what they were, not really ever agitated enough before to say ‘enough’. These past two weeks have found me in a different pace of being. I can’t truly say slower, but instead more grounded to see where my energy flows and goes each day when I’m not preoccupying my mind with scrolling, something I’ve found myself indulging in a lot over the years, but especially after a pretty intense illness that swept over my body in August forcing me to really take a solid step back from most things in my life for nearly three weeks, I noticed the amount of time I’d been spending on my phone had increased significantly in no time at all, and it seemed to be lingering even when I was beginning to physically feel better.
There is this part of me that I’m only just starting to get a solid glimpse of, one that had never been taught how to channel the speed and breadth at which my mind takes in information despite my slowness in many other ways, including integration of information- something I’ve held a lot of shame around for much of my life. While others around me have casually read books and been able to take on the rate at which a class requires reading material, I’ve been behind my entire academic life. Behind in a very physical sense, though my mind would seemingly short circuit and shut down with too much input. Simultaneously, my family was urged to advance me by teachers who desired to advocate for me. A challenging place to be forced into as a young child, naive to the thing that would create an easier path forward, there being an obvious dissonance present in my intelligence, and the very real struggles I’ve faced with understanding or feeling like I could keep up with the pace or format of it all going unnoticed for decades. There were real, deep villainous voices in my head for much of my life that said I couldn’t keep up, that I was dumb, that I was bad at academia. I see, now, the way in which this has carried over for me in my work life as I try to keep up with building a business in a realm that is heavily academic in many ways. It’s been extremely confronting for me over these past two or so years as I’m exposed to more of this world of astrology and cosmology from a professional standpoint.
It’s taken a very distinct formula of events and a little nudge from my mentor to see where so much of this is rooted for me- a heavy mercurial signature, and I suppose, too, each of the astrological ‘toilet bowls’ (Neptune, the South Node, the twelfth house) having a deep tie to my mind and body in my particular chart. A need to support the nervous system in order to support and sustain the body.
Make your own recovery the first priority in your life. -Robin Norwood
As I processed what this New Moon would hold for us, collectively, I noticed that the themes I’ve been working through these past two weeks were showing up pretty strongly in the transits this week- an emphasis on exhaustion and a frenetic energy and mental activity that can predispose us to anxiety. I’m a little late to sharing this message, but something to carry moving forward is the understanding of what boundaries are important for us, as individuals, in our daily lives. What are the very real people, distractions, habits, things blocking us from connecting deeply to ourselves, our bodies, our purpose and allowing ourselves to truly rest in who we are authentically with our own, unique voice. Where are the squeaky wheels in our lives that need the attention, the detail, the care to mend and offer us the vehicle needed for our grander purpose in this life? This New Moon took place in gate 40.6 on the mandala, a place called Aloneness; Decapitation. Who or what is butting up against our will creating conflict within ourselves, preventing us from accessing our truest way of being? What limb must be culled in order to grow with more focused intention? Maybe it is something outside of ourselves, but maybe it is something that has been stirring within us, surfacing to be examined and then removed.
The axis of Virgo and Pisces is one of spirituality and healing. There is the jupitarian, mystical Pisces offering us this nebulous expanse, connecting us to everything around us- the mycellium of life, and then there is mercurial, detail-oriented Virgo who knows the practical steps toward integration. Virgo is digestion, it is how we take in our food, but also information, our environment, all that exists around us. It is a sign that is constantly linked to agitation and critique, but it is linked to those things through this awareness of the minute details of it's surroundings. There must be discernment in that sort of mass absorption in order to create ease and flow. And so with Saturn opposing this Virgo New Moon we must enforce boundaries and create structure in our life in order to access an easeful path forward, toward health, toward purpose.
It's incredibly easy to fall into the anxious spinning circles of questions, of details and find ourselves doubting our lives as we've laid them out. It's important to remember why we've made the choices we have, that looking back with some rose tinted nostalgia can be quite hindering for us. And in the same breath, noticing where we haven't allowed ourselves to consciously make choices toward a future that feels fulfilling to us. This week is a week to really take stock of the accumulation of choices that is our present moment and feel into where we're soft on boundariesin order to be acceptable to anyone but ourselves, to fit into some preconcieved idea or ideology that simply doesn't work for us in the grander scheme of things, or just in where we've not noticed ourselves participating in small daily actions that prevent us from being with ourselves, in our bodies, connected to a relaxed nervous system.
Sending peace to you today and every day ahead.
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