I spent my morning listening to an interview with Esther Perel on relationship. Within this interview, she touched on something that struck me with such violence. Through this interview- through Perel’s description of sensation, of being present and connected outside of the context of sex, outside of the context of partnered connection at all- something broke open inside of me. And I suppose I’ve been ingesting a lot of media lately that all orbits around some similar root topic, Sabrina Monarch’s recent podcast interview with Rob Kancler comes immediately to mind. My own Venus-Saturn lessons becoming visible before my eyes, over a period of time for me to put into practice little by little.
This newly seen deep awareness of something that has lived within me beyond view my entire life, but has shown up through some nebulous desire that I couldn’t put words to. Instead of growing pleasure, my weak attempts at accessing it, instead, created strange restriction and control in the areas of my life governed by Pisces, a fairly boundaryless realm in general. And I’m beginning to see this in various ways in the people around me, in the world around me- a world driven by production and restriction, and also a world in which we seek quick dopamine to find some sense of equilibrium in the drain of our productive lives. For some this will show up in obvious ways, a new understanding of the desire for pleasure that lingers for days after an intentional interaction. For others it will look more mundane, what quick pleasure is leaving you feeling unfulfilled and unable to build toward that long-term, sustainable desire that exists within your dream of owning a home to make your own?
My own realization of the avoidance I’ve forced upon myself in feeble effort to create some sort of barrier to the painful Venusian experiences I’ve encountered time and time again, afraid of pleasure for the other things that can accompany it, the vulnerability it can create. Instead of turning away within my own practice, I’ve been putting attention on discernment of the quality of what I’m moving toward. Instead of creating barriers, slowing down to be with pleasure in the moment. Holding the sensation and the build up that Saturn can bring, creating an intoxicating moment. One that lingers for days after. One that allows for full experience of the sensations at play.
Venus meeting Saturn in her sign of exaltation showed up for me in this interview, as the two planetary bodies inch closer and closer to one another this weekend, as they approach this slow kiss in the evening sky above, the first of three that we’ll experience this year. Generally, this pair can manifest in a restriction of pleasure, love, desire, beauty. It can manifest in a deeply somber, melancholic way. But, with Venus in her sign of exaltation, a place she does exceptionally well in, there is this balance that can maybe bridged between these two distinctly different energies. Making use of the sobriety of Saturn, which can be necessary when Venus moves through this boundaryless sign, one in which she is the guest of honor through her exaltation. There is gaiety and celebration and drunkenness here for her. How can we utilize the sobriety of Saturn to our advantage with this otherworldly energy?
The erotic on display in front of our eyes. The slowness, the restraint, the near unmoving nature of Saturn. The pleasure, the love, the adornment of Venus as she dances brightly into conjunction with her current partner. It is a visual reminder of the intensity that builds as we interact with pleasure in a slow, restrained, but not restrictive way. The cool, slow moving stream running across our bare skin as we wade along the waters of a brook, the sun warming our face and shoulders on a sunny day. Every sensation felt, not just acknowledged, but enjoyed. Stimulating something we can remember and enjoy long after.
As we move through this transit, where can you be with yourself this weekend, allowing yourself to indulge in the restraint of being in the moment, creating space for the erotic within even the mundanity of life? Slowing down, truly being present. Allowing yourself to experience your morning routine, slow and intentional. The pleasure of the scent on your fragrance as you apply it, eyes closed, breathing it in. Sitting with your morning coffee, tasting the different notes present in its aroma, in its taste. Feeling the warmth and weight of your friend’s arms as they embrace you.
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